February: Relationship Gains

February: Relationship Gains

“Do’s and Don’t for Relationships that Work”

By guest blogger: Susan K. Maciak – CAMEO Communications & Consulting LLC


Carefree college students often project that “Girls Just Want to Have Fun,” as the song goes, or give the impression that guys in their 20s are not interested in serious relationships. “Not true,” says Will Ellermets who launched Battle of the Gains last year as a college student at Grand Valley State University.

Battle of the Gains hosts year-round community fitness events to bring people together for physical, mental and spiritual gains. Building better relationships is a side effect, according to Ellermets. His advice for good relationship among the college-age crowd starts with a humorous line from his father: “Find someone who enjoys a good argument with you!” Ellermets also suggests observing these Do’s and Don’ts:


  • Look for a relationship that is beneficial on both sides, each providing what the other needs.
  • Find someone interested in making both of you the best you can be at every stage of life.
  • Be a confidante, a trustworthy friend, someone to help relieve the many stresses of life.
  • Communicate honestly and openly.
  • Create excitement, fun, surprises out of otherwise dull daily routines.


  • Don’t let your relationship define you. Be your own person and develop your own talents.
  • Don’t burn out togetherness by messaging, calling or texting all day long.
  • Don’t cross boundaries by flirting outside a relationship, even ‘liking’ online too much.
  • Don’t telegraph your relationship 24 hours a day on social media. Keep it personal.
  • Don’t post provocative pictures of yourself online to draw attention from others.

Another perspective on the subject

“Honesty, communication and faith are three major factors in successful relationships.” — from the female point of view. “The biggest Don’t for me in any relationship is lying, or any kind of dishonesty,” says a 21-year-old Grand Rapids woman. She had no trouble outlining other common No-No’s among co-eds, including these:


  • Don’t build a relationship on physical attraction alone. It has to be more than that.
  • Never, ever go into a relationship thinking you can change someone.
  • Don’t waste your time and energy on someone who doesn’t have goals and dreams.
  • Avoid relationships with people who don’t support your goals and dreams.
  • Don’t be in a relationship just to establish your identity.


  • Love each other’s flaws and all. Never give up on each other.
  • Be emotionally involved. That’s important in any relationship.
  • Continue to build each other up and stand behind each other no matter what.
  • Love each other unconditionally for who you each are, not for what you want the other to be.
  • Be able to accept each other’s past. Talk about what you’ve been through in life.
  • Always make sure you’re having fun. Keep your relationship exciting.

She warns other girls: “Before getting into a relationship, make sure that your identity is established, so you can love each other for what you really are. Her final advice: “No matter how old you grow, keep the love alive.”

Change Yourself – Change Your Community – Change The World. Battle of the Gains is a movement conceived and launched by Will Ellermets, student at Grand Valley State University. Blog posts are developed by Will Ellermets and business associate / board member Susan K. Maciak, CAMEO Communications & Consulting LLC (www.cameo100.com).


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